I have been suffering from a bout of flu for the last day and a half and hence the delay in posting the next blog. Again, the fact that I have decided to take this seriously is a matter of great accomplishment for me. Finally after a year of empty promises to myself and drunken confessions to various friends I’m going to finally take my desire to be a serious writer seriously!
So back to New Year stories, I refuse to add juicy details of my big bang out of self-cultivated modesty. I’m desperately trying to keep my stories straight and not get one year mixed up with the next. If you expect a gradual transition towards maturity that comes with adulthood and experience, you are in for a rude surprise. I’m a classic specimen of the stubborn humanoid species that refuses to learn from my past mistakes.
My dating patterns have become predictable, I hover around emotionally unavailable men like a moth around a light bulb. Guess what happens to the moth once it gets too close? It drops to the ground and dies, scorched by the relentless heat emitted from the light bulb . Fortunately, none of the men that have come into my life have prompted me to consider hanging from a noose seriously or purposely leave the gas on. But, with every failed relationship, I loose an ounce of faith in fluffy ideals like love. A wise woman once told me that “ Messed up doesn’t mean interesting.” I nodded my head in acknowledgment, my eyes shone in realization at this new found wisdom. I let this knowledge seep in for a minute or two and promised myself that I would mend my ways. It almost worked I was in a picture perfect relationship for the next six months. I had everything what a woman would hope for- An adoring boyfriend, weekend getaways, flowers, candy, presents for no occasions and great sex. I was bored out of my mind. Any normal person with half a brain would appreciate the joys of a great relationship. I missed the tumultuous time, the unwarranted chaos and the heated arguments that my past relationships offered.
I had everything that I should hope for, all that was missing was the intellectual connection, a small compromise in the grand scheme of things. Unlike the last few times, this relationship actually did end on a good note, me leaving the country played an important role in the amicable end. Today I stand before the world a single woman in search of the holy grail of dating, the mother of all relationships that will provide me the organized chaos that I look for with the added perks of an adorning man and a great life. Why can’t a woman have her cake and eat it too goddamnit!?
New Year’s eve 2005 started on a really great note, I was back home for the holidays. Spending the last day of the year with the my two favorite people was the ideal option. An adorable nerdy boy who had been an amazing friend for the last five years was my official date for the night. The adorable nerdy boy has now transformed himself into a dashing, successful, emotionally unavailable man scarred by life. I'm secretly in love with him at the moment. But back in 2005 he was my winter fling, the man who would kiss me senseless at the stroke of midnight and make me dizzy in anticipation of the pleasures to follow. We huddled together in a cramped auto to reach our party destination. The sky erupted in a kaleidoscope of colors and the street bursted in an unanimous cheer somewhere in the distance as the clock struck twelve. 2005 had officially come to an end, we still remained cramped in an auto wishing for the traffic to magically disappear. Passionate kisses were replaced with awkward hugs between three people suffering from a mild buttock ache due to minimal muscular activity.
(My head is starting to hurt again, I don't feel particularly articulate or witty at the moment, so I'm going to end this one here and pick it up at a later time.)