Hello, my non-existent readership and fans in the making. Since I have vowed to make more of an effort to write, here I am, two days after my extremely depressing post. Luck for me, I have been blessed with an steely sense of determination by the Almighty. If I ever run into him some day, by some freak accident, I will make sure to thank him for this one. With new found inspiration and divine intervention I have dived into work with renewed energy and wisdom. Personally, I don’t think I ever really lacked it, but now I make it super obvious to those around me.
My attitude went from quietly working and intermettiantly day-dreaming at my desk to-Look, look I am super excited about making a million budgets! Weeding through countless invoices and technical jargon is my new found passion! My personal favorite is going through ALL my old emails and reading them at least three times so that I absolutely capture every single, subtle nuance of it in my mind. I'm so dedicated about what I do that I have even started to contemplate everything including my life as an excel sheet. They wanted questions, consider their wish granted, I have way too many of them floating in my mind anyways, now everyone will know what kind of query is bothering me then and there and it won't be pleasant!
Figuring out things on your own is so overrated anyways!
Seriously though, I have been pretty busy with mountains of work and have been putting in the extra time and effort to smooth things over. This hasn’t stopped me from making some pretty stupid mistakes, but everyone is allowed some slack right? I just hope my boss notices my change of “attitude” and doesn’t fire me for my lack “enthusiasm” or “communication”. I could go on and on, but my fingers are worked to the bone and typing this is taking some serious effort. I just hope that my medical insurance covers Corporal Tunnel (sp?).
I have been rather cheerful since yesterday, for no particular reason. Considering the state of mind that I was in the previous day, this is simply wonderful. Nothing pleasantly out of the ordinary or remotely thrilling has happened that would make me go “yippee” on the inside. Life is chugging along in its routine fashion. There’s work, followed by the gym, followed by some quiet reading time, on the nights that I am home, or a drink or several drinks at Zenzi. There have been no wild, unpredictable, exciting, encounters. Kisses stolen in the dark alley have not tintilated my senses. Mind blowing sex with someone delicious hasn't occured either. In spite of the lack of obvious, visible excitement, I am pleasantly numb. Maybe I have finally learnt to let the simple pleasures in life intoxicate my senses and supply a healthy sense of emotional well-being.
I’m in a superb state of mind after my rigorous workout. Those pheromones or endorphins or whatever it is that is released from exercising does weird shit to the chemical composition of my brain and generally puts in a wonderful, wonderful place! For those few pleasant hours, gone are the feelings of grumpiness, isolation, trouble and melancholy. It’s most definitely better than sex. The only person that needs to be satisfied here is I and I am plenty capable of doing that. The second runner-up would most definitely be masturbation, which is in a league of its own. Sometimes I really wonder why women even bother with men? Practically speaking they serve very little purpose, which really when considered can be satisfied by other means with far greater satisfaction and competence. Maybe I can train myself to not ever need a man while still maintaining my heterosexuality. I would possibly be the only woman in the world to achieve this. Oh the glory and accolades that I would be showered with! The praise and adulation thrust upon me by all of womankind would be simply spectacular.